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Childhood Trauma is Intergenerational – Until We Heal
I was married to a man who’s parents had both died of alcoholism and who wouldn’t drink for fear of becoming an alcoholic. He had lived through things as a child that would cause me to cry when he told me the stories, but he didn’t react to the telling at all. Just like I didn’t react when I told my own stories. Like my own Dad, he was an angry man. I believe today that he coped with the fear of losing what he felt he needed to be ok, in ways that were different from mine, but were equally dysfunctional. He also numbed his feelings, he also manipulated – by being big and loud to get what he wanted. That wouldn’t have worked for me so my way was sneakier, less obvious, but the motivation was the same. One night when my daughter was four, my husband came home from work, ate dinner and then went out to his home office over the garage to work on his side business. He would frequently spend evenings there chatting with friends or tinkering with computers. This was a normal occurrence, but I wasn’t happy about it and I wanted him…
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Chronic Family Trauma (CFT)
It’s Intergenerational, Until We Let Go I was married to a man who’s parents had both died of alcoholism and who wouldn’t drink for fear of becoming an alcoholic. He had lived through things as a child that would cause me to cry when he told me the stories, but he didn’t react to the telling at all. Just like I didn’t react to telling my own stories. Like my own Dad, he was an angry man. I believe today that he coped with the fear of losing what he felt he needed to be ok, in ways that were different from mine, but were equally dysfunctional. He also numbed his feelings, he also manipulated – by threats, in order to get me to behave. Threats hadn’t worked for me as a child so my way was sneakier, less obvious, but the motivation was the same. One night when my daughter was four, my husband came home from work, ate dinner and then went out to his home office over the garage to work on his side business. He would frequently spend evenings there chatting with friends or tinkering with computers. This was a normal occurrence, but I wasn’t happy…
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Yoga – Transcending Trauma
Breath. We take it for granted, after all it’s automatic… Isn’t it? For many people not so much. If you are a trauma survivor, focusing on you breath may bring up feelings and images from very scary experiences that can quickly become overwhelming. Yoga can help people with a history of trauma to regulate their breathing and eventually, shift into some basic movement practices which can help them get back in touch with their bodies. People with C-PTSD (complex PTSD) or PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) can often be mostly unconscious of their body in space and will often not be aware of physical symptoms of distress, like clenching their jaw, hunching in their shoulders, or balling their hands into fists. On the other hand, they are often hyper aware of everyone else in the room, what they are doing, their expressions, the loudness or quietness of their voices and their posture. Trauma manifests in many forms and comes from many sources. It is not reserved for soldiers who go to war or for people in car accidents. As is becoming more widely known, trauma affects many people that might think of themselves as “normal.” Some of the signs of…
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Restorative Yoga – A Powerful Tool in Early Recovery
Restorative Yoga is a powerful tool used by Yoga Therapists to treat people with injuries like low back pain and muscle rehabilitation, as well as in recovery from diseases such as cancer,diabetes, heart disease, arthritis and immune dysfunction. Pioneered by Judith Hanson Lasater, Restorative Yoga provides a completely supportive environment for total relaxation. The Practice of Restorative Yoga Requires Little Strength Restorative Yoga utilizes yoga equipment — blocks, bolsters, blankets, and straps — to facilitate finding and holding poses for extended periods of time comfortably, usually three to five minutes. Also, most Restorative poses are done on the floor and require little strength or balance. This makes them perfect for people in early recovery from Substance Use Disorders (SUD) because strength and balance often present challenges for them. Supported poses allow the participants to feel more in control of their own bodies, which is also beneficial for emotional and physical trauma. Restorative Yoga balances the energy in the whole body Each Restorative sequence is designed to move the spine in all directions. These movements illustrate the idea that well-being is enhanced by a healthy spine. Some Restorative poses are back bends, while others are forward folds. Other poses gently twist…
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The Issues Are In Our Tissues
Fascia is the elastic ‘container’ that exists throughout the body. It connects muscles,tendons and bones together and holds our organs within us. Trauma: Physical or Emotional Shock can result in: “Fight-or-Flight” reaction(when the body begins to mobilize); Adrenalin begins pumping to mobilize us into action. We may spontaneously excrete waste products. Some of our physical senses may become more acute while others shutdown. The heart rate increases and we may hyperventilate or sweat. Ultimately this results in: Exhaustion – physical arousal associated with fight-or-flight cannot be prolonged indefinitely. “Freeze”– disorientation, immobilization and numbness. One study found that a consistent yoga practice improved depression and led to a significant increase in serotonin levels and a decrease in the levels of monoamine oxidase (an enzyme that breaks down neurotransmitters) and cortisol. At the University of Wisconsin, Richard Davidson, Ph.D., found that the left prefrontal cortex showed heightened activity in meditators, a finding that has been correlated with greater levels of happiness and better immune function. More dramatic left-sided activation was found in dedicated, long-term practitioners. Yoga“quells the fluctuations of the mind,” according to Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras. In other words, it slows down the mental loops of frustration, regret,anger, fear,and desire that are the result of, and…
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Telling the truth about Chronic Family Trauma (CFT) aka C-PTSD
I am a woman in long-term recovery from Chronic Family Trauma (CFT). Last year I started following the work of a group called Facing Addiction. Their mission is to change the public perception of addiction and to decriminalize it. How they do this is multi-fold, but part of their message is what some of us already understand – addicts aren’t bad people, they’re sick people. The spokesmen and women for Facing Addiction identify as “Addicts in long term recovery” in the press, and give their names. The point being that the public can now look at the lives of these people and know the positives rather than just the negatives portrayed in stereotypes of addiction. People in the public eye like senators, sports figures and entertainment superstars identify themselves in this way in support of this cause. It got me thinking – in 12-Step rooms, people find connection when one Member of AA, one member of NA , one member of Al-Anon talks to another. The stories of strangers recall personal struggles and ring true. People identify, seeing themselves more clearly. Then one of my mentors said to me in a discussion of my business plans and mission statement, “Celeste you…
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Judgment
So I was in a Meeting the other day, trying to de-stress and find resources for a background level of anxiety, and the topic was Judgement. It got me thinking, as much of the sharing was around judgement, as in judging others. However, what hit me was the relationship between How we judge and what sort of reference material our minds have for making those judgements. Judgement is neither good nor bad – it’s how we’re designed – to make choices between this or that. We filter things through our prior experience and our intellect. Everything we observe, with all our senses, is filtered by our experiences. We can think of this like cruise control in a car, or autopilot in a plane. How this matters is that if we have a history of trauma we will tend to filter our judgements using that trauma history, and it colors our perceptions skewing our decisions one way or another – frequently Not accurately. It’s challenging for us to shift this, but necessary, so that we can perceive things through our present awareness and THEN decide whether This Thing is something we want in our lives. Interested? It’s important to remember that…
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Sometimes We Can All Be a Moody Bitch
Awareness of how trauma has affected my life seems to come slowly. I’ve had some major awarenesses and shifts over the past 20-plus years, but there are still dark corners where I’ll find large, scary monsters. The cool thing is that they turn into shining light once I’m able to look at them with clear sight and compassion. This clarity happened for me this morning, the situations that presented the awareness though, happened over the past three months or so, and the trigger is over 60 years old. It’s not, unsurprisingly, a short story. So settle in… Months ago, a person I thought I could trust – even though we’ve had some pretty intense issues over time, betrayed me majorly. I swore “Never again.” I would not be swayed, I would not believe because I wanted to believe. I was done. Then this person contacted me. I ignored it. That is also part of the dance we’ve done over the years. He contacted me again. I ignored it for several days, but I was still angry and really, most of all, hurt, so I responded with a musical message – the song Too Late by Zucchero, one of my favorite…
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Yoga Brings Balance For People in Recovery
Yoga Brings Balance For People in Recovery Hatha Yoga, the most popular and well-known style of yoga, has its beginnings in India with the Hindu tradition. The word “Hatha” comes from two Sanskrit words: Ha, meaning the Moon, and Tha, meaning the Sun. The word “Yoga” also has an entwined meaning here. “Yoga” is generally thought to be derived from the Sanskrit for “Union.” Hence, Hatha Yoga is the union or balance of the Moon and Sun nature in people, or the cool with the fire. This balance is desirable for all but is especially helpful with PTSD, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) and Substance Use Disorder (SUD) as our natures conflict and cause imbalance within the body. That imbalance and discomfort is what people with PTSD, C-PTSD and SUD seek to medicate and avoid with drugs and alcohol, food, sex, love, Internet, gambling, etc. Kundalini Yoga Was Introduced as a Therapy for Substance Use Disorder (SUD), aka Addiction There are many offshoots of Hatha; Tantra, Viniyoga, Anusara, Iyengar, Power Yoga, Bikram, and Sivananda are a few of the most popular. Kundalini Yoga is an exception; its lineage traces its roots to Tantra, which is a Hatha Yoga style,…
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What is Chronic Family Trauma?
Chronic Family Trauma (CFT) is a term of my own devising as codependency doesn’t say all that I believe needs to be expressed about living in the equivalent of a war zone within the structure that is meant to support and nurture our growth as children and adults – The Family. This can come from living with people suffering from use disorders, as well as living with those who struggle with mental illness, or, frankly, people who have been traumatized as children themselves. It is intended to be a description, not an indictment. Almost is Never Enough “It’s hard to get enough of something that almost works.” I heard that line a while ago and I haven’t been able out get it out of my head. I know most people with substance use issues will respond to that with a visceral understanding and a “YES” from their souls. But I wonder whether the unseen and unheard majority, those affected by the use disorders of others and C-PTSD understand that this same principle is in play for us as well. Our adult relationships almost work. We replay the childhood dynamic, marrying people who we want to give us the love and…
