-
Childhood Trauma is Intergenerational – Until We Heal
I was married to a man who’s parents had both died of alcoholism and who wouldn’t drink for fear of becoming an alcoholic. He had lived through things as a child that would cause me to cry when he told me the stories, but he didn’t react to the telling at all. Just like I didn’t react when I told my own stories. Like my own Dad, he was an angry man. I believe today that he coped with the fear of losing what he felt he needed to be ok, in ways that were different from mine, but were equally dysfunctional. He also numbed his feelings, he also manipulated – by being big and loud to get what he wanted. That wouldn’t have worked for me so my way was sneakier, less obvious, but the motivation was the same. One night when my daughter was four, my husband came home from work, ate dinner and then went out to his home office over the garage to work on his side business. He would frequently spend evenings there chatting with friends or tinkering with computers. This was a normal occurrence, but I wasn’t happy about it and I wanted him…
-
Chronic Family Trauma (CFT)
It’s Intergenerational, Until We Let Go I was married to a man who’s parents had both died of alcoholism and who wouldn’t drink for fear of becoming an alcoholic. He had lived through things as a child that would cause me to cry when he told me the stories, but he didn’t react to the telling at all. Just like I didn’t react to telling my own stories. Like my own Dad, he was an angry man. I believe today that he coped with the fear of losing what he felt he needed to be ok, in ways that were different from mine, but were equally dysfunctional. He also numbed his feelings, he also manipulated – by threats, in order to get me to behave. Threats hadn’t worked for me as a child so my way was sneakier, less obvious, but the motivation was the same. One night when my daughter was four, my husband came home from work, ate dinner and then went out to his home office over the garage to work on his side business. He would frequently spend evenings there chatting with friends or tinkering with computers. This was a normal occurrence, but I wasn’t happy…
-
Telling the truth about Chronic Family Trauma (CFT) aka C-PTSD
I am a woman in long-term recovery from Chronic Family Trauma (CFT). Last year I started following the work of a group called Facing Addiction. Their mission is to change the public perception of addiction and to decriminalize it. How they do this is multi-fold, but part of their message is what some of us already understand – addicts aren’t bad people, they’re sick people. The spokesmen and women for Facing Addiction identify as “Addicts in long term recovery” in the press, and give their names. The point being that the public can now look at the lives of these people and know the positives rather than just the negatives portrayed in stereotypes of addiction. People in the public eye like senators, sports figures and entertainment superstars identify themselves in this way in support of this cause. It got me thinking – in 12-Step rooms, people find connection when one Member of AA, one member of NA , one member of Al-Anon talks to another. The stories of strangers recall personal struggles and ring true. People identify, seeing themselves more clearly. Then one of my mentors said to me in a discussion of my business plans and mission statement, “Celeste you…
-
Childhood Trauma
So, as you may know, Childhood Trauma Coaching is my latest brainchild. It’s interesting, as I’ve tried for years to “get it together” with a group for Substance Use Disorder (addiction) and Yoga. It just somehow didn’t feel like an authentic fit for me because, while I AM a yoga therapist who works with people with use disorders. I am not a person in recovery from use disorders. Needless to say, if I didn’t feel like I fit, I also wasn’t exactly successful with it either. I’m a family member, and I identify as a family member in recovery. But it just didn’t feel TO ME like I belonged there, telling people how to get better from something I don’t really have firsthand experience with. I’m incredibly grateful for the journey, because it’s brought me to my truth. It’s not that Everybody Did it To Me, it’s that who I was from childhood, and how I showed up, brought me into The Frequency of Trauma (Thank you Tommy Rosen, for your very insightful talks about The Frequency of Addiction), along with many others who share the same issue as I do, regardless of how we manifest it – Trauma. I…
