• childhood,  family,  PTSD,  recovery,  trauma

    Childhood Trauma is Intergenerational – Until We Heal

    I was married to a man who’s parents had both died of alcoholism and who wouldn’t drink for fear of becoming an alcoholic. He had lived through things as a child that would cause me to cry when he told me the stories, but he didn’t react to the telling at all. Just like I didn’t react when I told my own stories.  Like my own Dad, he was an angry man. I believe today that he coped with the fear of losing what he felt he needed to be ok, in ways that were different from mine, but  were equally dysfunctional. He also numbed his feelings, he also manipulated – by being big and loud to get what he wanted. That wouldn’t have worked for me so my way was sneakier, less obvious, but the motivation was the same.  One night when my daughter was four, my husband came home from work, ate dinner and then went out to his home office over the garage to work on his side business. He would frequently spend evenings there chatting with friends or tinkering with computers. This was a normal occurrence, but I wasn’t happy about it and I wanted him…

  • childhood,  family,  recovery,  trauma

    Chronic Family Trauma (CFT) 

    It’s Intergenerational, Until We Let Go I was married to a man who’s parents had both died of alcoholism and who wouldn’t drink for fear of becoming an alcoholic. He had lived through things as a child that would cause me to cry when he told me the stories, but he didn’t react to the telling at all. Just like I didn’t react to telling my own stories.  Like my own Dad, he was an angry man. I believe today that he coped with the fear of losing what he felt he needed to be ok, in ways that were different from mine, but  were equally dysfunctional. He also numbed his feelings, he also manipulated – by threats, in order to get me to behave. Threats hadn’t worked for me as a child so my way was sneakier, less obvious, but the motivation was the same.  One night when my daughter was four, my husband came home from work, ate dinner and then went out to his home office over the garage to work on his side business. He would frequently spend evenings there chatting with friends or tinkering with computers. This was a normal occurrence, but I wasn’t happy…

  • recovery,  trauma,  Yoga

    Yoga – Transcending Trauma

    Breath. We take it for granted, after all it’s automatic… Isn’t it?  For many people not so much.  If you are a trauma survivor, focusing on you breath may bring up feelings and images from very scary experiences that can quickly become overwhelming. Yoga can help people with a history of trauma to regulate their breathing and eventually, shift into some basic movement practices which can help them get back in touch with their bodies. People with C-PTSD (complex PTSD) or PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) can often be mostly unconscious of their body in space and will often not be aware of physical symptoms of distress, like clenching their jaw, hunching in their shoulders, or balling their hands into fists. On the other hand, they are often hyper aware of everyone else in the room, what they are doing, their expressions, the loudness or quietness of their voices and their posture. Trauma manifests in many forms and comes from many sources. It is not reserved for soldiers who go to war or for people in car accidents. As is becoming more widely known, trauma affects many people that might think of themselves as “normal.” Some of the signs of…

  • recovery,  Yoga

    Restorative Yoga – A Powerful Tool in Early Recovery

    Restorative Yoga is a powerful tool used by Yoga Therapists to treat people with injuries like low back pain and muscle rehabilitation, as well as in recovery from diseases such as cancer,diabetes, heart disease, arthritis and immune dysfunction. Pioneered by Judith Hanson Lasater, Restorative Yoga provides a completely supportive environment for total relaxation. The Practice of Restorative Yoga Requires Little Strength Restorative Yoga utilizes yoga equipment — blocks, bolsters, blankets, and straps — to facilitate finding and holding poses for extended periods of time comfortably, usually three to five minutes. Also, most Restorative poses are done on the floor and require little strength or balance. This makes them perfect for people in early recovery from Substance Use Disorders (SUD) because strength and balance often present challenges for them. Supported poses allow the participants to feel more in control of their own bodies, which is also beneficial for emotional and physical trauma. Restorative Yoga balances the energy in the whole body Each Restorative sequence is designed to move the spine in all directions. These movements illustrate the idea that well-being is enhanced by a healthy spine. Some Restorative poses are back bends, while others are forward folds. Other poses gently twist…

  • judgment,  recovery

    Judgment

    So I was in a Meeting the other day, trying to de-stress and find resources for a background level of anxiety, and the topic was Judgement. It got me thinking, as much of the sharing was around judgement, as in judging others. However, what hit me was the relationship between How we judge and what sort of reference material our minds have for making those judgements. Judgement is neither good nor bad – it’s how we’re designed – to make choices between this or that. We filter things through our prior experience and our intellect. Everything we observe, with all our senses, is filtered by our experiences. We can think of this like cruise control in a car, or autopilot in a plane. How this matters is that if we have a history of trauma we will tend to filter our judgements using that trauma history, and it colors our perceptions skewing our decisions one way or another – frequently Not accurately. It’s challenging for us to shift this, but necessary, so that we can perceive things through our present awareness and THEN decide whether This Thing is something we want in our lives. Interested? It’s important to remember that…

  • meditation,  recovery,  Yoga

    Yoga Brings Balance For People in Recovery

    Yoga Brings Balance For People in Recovery Hatha Yoga, the most popular and well-known style of yoga, has its beginnings in India with the Hindu tradition. The word “Hatha” comes from two Sanskrit words: Ha, meaning the Moon, and Tha, meaning the Sun. The word “Yoga” also has an entwined meaning here. “Yoga” is generally thought to be derived from the Sanskrit for “Union.” Hence, Hatha Yoga is the union or balance of the Moon and Sun nature in people, or the cool with the fire. This balance is desirable for all but is especially helpful with PTSD, Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) and Substance Use Disorder (SUD) as our natures conflict and cause imbalance within the body. That imbalance and discomfort is what people with PTSD, C-PTSD and SUD seek to medicate and avoid with drugs and alcohol, food, sex, love, Internet, gambling, etc. Kundalini Yoga Was Introduced as a Therapy for Substance Use Disorder (SUD), aka Addiction There are many offshoots of Hatha; Tantra, Viniyoga, Anusara, Iyengar, Power Yoga, Bikram, and Sivananda are a few of the most popular. Kundalini Yoga is an exception; its lineage traces its roots to Tantra, which is a Hatha Yoga style,…

  • meditation,  recovery

    Meditation, Not Medication

    I was writing a Facebook post when I realize I had mistyped and that my spellcheck had autocorrected my mistype into medication and not meditation. My initial response was to curse spellcheck as usual, but then it hit me how often people USE medication instead of meditation. I had been procrastinating on writing this post about meditation, so perhaps the universe was giving me a message? Step 11, in the Steps for all 12 Step programs, says: “Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him…” Yet many people only work the prayer part of this step. Many say they’ve tried to meditate but can’t focus. Others see a religious overtone to the idea of meditation. Still others find the idea sort of scary, as though it’s some sort of magical ceremony and they might be turned into something unrecognizable as a result (Yes, I’m kidding… Sort of.) We need to Stop Doing What Isn’t Working Whatever the excuses we use to avoid getting quiet with ourselves, the bottom line is this: we live in a stress-filled, sensory-overloaded society. Our minds and emotions, as well as our physical well-being require some downtime. Time…

  • family,  recovery,  trauma

    Telling the truth about Chronic Family Trauma (CFT) aka C-PTSD

    I am a woman in long-term recovery from Chronic Family Trauma (CFT). Last year I started following the work of a group called Facing Addiction. Their mission is to change the public perception of addiction and to decriminalize it. How they do this is multi-fold, but part of their message is what some of us already understand – addicts aren’t bad people, they’re sick people. The spokesmen and women for Facing Addiction identify as “Addicts in long term recovery” in the press, and give their names. The point being that the public can now look at the lives of these people and know the positives rather than just the negatives portrayed in stereotypes of addiction. People in the public eye like senators, sports figures and entertainment superstars identify themselves in this way in support of this cause. It got me thinking – in 12-Step rooms, people find connection when one Member of AA, one member of NA , one member of Al-Anon talks to another. The stories of strangers recall personal struggles and ring true. People identify, seeing themselves more clearly. Then one of my mentors said to me in a discussion of my business plans and mission statement, “Celeste you…

  • recovery,  substance abuse

    Recovery from Substance Use Disorders (SUDs)

    It’s becoming a trend. Yoga is being studied by doctors and scientists to help people recover from everything from surgical pain to diabetes. There are lots of studies that confirm the positive effects of yoga on the body, and the list includes use disorders for everything from alcohol and drugs to food. If you already have a regular yoga practice, you may be aware of some of the life affirming changes that your practice can create, like improved strength, flexibility and energy. But did you know that a regular practice that includes meditation and breathing practices can reduce your cravings for food, alcohol, drugs, cigarettes and most anything else that a person might use to “feel better?” How Does This Work?First, endorphins created during asana (movement) practice works within the body to soothe achey muscles, irritable minds, stress and feelings of loneliness. The increased oxygen in the blood stream helps to create feelings of calm and wellness. Specific yoga asana can also help flush toxic chemicals from the blood stream created during traumatic events and stressful situations, which are the root for all use disorders. And that’s just the asana! If your practice includes breath practices (pranayama) and meditation there…