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Childhood Trauma is Intergenerational – Until We Heal
I was married to a man who’s parents had both died of alcoholism and who wouldn’t drink for fear of becoming an alcoholic. He had lived through things as a child that would cause me to cry when he told me the stories, but he didn’t react to the telling at all. Just like I didn’t react when I told my own stories. Like my own Dad, he was an angry man. I believe today that he coped with the fear of losing what he felt he needed to be ok, in ways that were different from mine, but were equally dysfunctional. He also numbed his feelings, he also manipulated – by being big and loud to get what he wanted. That wouldn’t have worked for me so my way was sneakier, less obvious, but the motivation was the same. One night when my daughter was four, my husband came home from work, ate dinner and then went out to his home office over the garage to work on his side business. He would frequently spend evenings there chatting with friends or tinkering with computers. This was a normal occurrence, but I wasn’t happy about it and I wanted him…
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Chronic Family Trauma (CFT)
It’s Intergenerational, Until We Let Go I was married to a man who’s parents had both died of alcoholism and who wouldn’t drink for fear of becoming an alcoholic. He had lived through things as a child that would cause me to cry when he told me the stories, but he didn’t react to the telling at all. Just like I didn’t react to telling my own stories. Like my own Dad, he was an angry man. I believe today that he coped with the fear of losing what he felt he needed to be ok, in ways that were different from mine, but were equally dysfunctional. He also numbed his feelings, he also manipulated – by threats, in order to get me to behave. Threats hadn’t worked for me as a child so my way was sneakier, less obvious, but the motivation was the same. One night when my daughter was four, my husband came home from work, ate dinner and then went out to his home office over the garage to work on his side business. He would frequently spend evenings there chatting with friends or tinkering with computers. This was a normal occurrence, but I wasn’t happy…
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Yoga – Transcending Trauma
Breath. We take it for granted, after all it’s automatic… Isn’t it? For many people not so much. If you are a trauma survivor, focusing on you breath may bring up feelings and images from very scary experiences that can quickly become overwhelming. Yoga can help people with a history of trauma to regulate their breathing and eventually, shift into some basic movement practices which can help them get back in touch with their bodies. People with C-PTSD (complex PTSD) or PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) can often be mostly unconscious of their body in space and will often not be aware of physical symptoms of distress, like clenching their jaw, hunching in their shoulders, or balling their hands into fists. On the other hand, they are often hyper aware of everyone else in the room, what they are doing, their expressions, the loudness or quietness of their voices and their posture. Trauma manifests in many forms and comes from many sources. It is not reserved for soldiers who go to war or for people in car accidents. As is becoming more widely known, trauma affects many people that might think of themselves as “normal.” Some of the signs of…
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The Issues Are In Our Tissues
Fascia is the elastic ‘container’ that exists throughout the body. It connects muscles,tendons and bones together and holds our organs within us. Trauma: Physical or Emotional Shock can result in: “Fight-or-Flight” reaction(when the body begins to mobilize); Adrenalin begins pumping to mobilize us into action. We may spontaneously excrete waste products. Some of our physical senses may become more acute while others shutdown. The heart rate increases and we may hyperventilate or sweat. Ultimately this results in: Exhaustion – physical arousal associated with fight-or-flight cannot be prolonged indefinitely. “Freeze”– disorientation, immobilization and numbness. One study found that a consistent yoga practice improved depression and led to a significant increase in serotonin levels and a decrease in the levels of monoamine oxidase (an enzyme that breaks down neurotransmitters) and cortisol. At the University of Wisconsin, Richard Davidson, Ph.D., found that the left prefrontal cortex showed heightened activity in meditators, a finding that has been correlated with greater levels of happiness and better immune function. More dramatic left-sided activation was found in dedicated, long-term practitioners. Yoga“quells the fluctuations of the mind,” according to Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras. In other words, it slows down the mental loops of frustration, regret,anger, fear,and desire that are the result of, and…
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Telling the truth about Chronic Family Trauma (CFT) aka C-PTSD
I am a woman in long-term recovery from Chronic Family Trauma (CFT). Last year I started following the work of a group called Facing Addiction. Their mission is to change the public perception of addiction and to decriminalize it. How they do this is multi-fold, but part of their message is what some of us already understand – addicts aren’t bad people, they’re sick people. The spokesmen and women for Facing Addiction identify as “Addicts in long term recovery” in the press, and give their names. The point being that the public can now look at the lives of these people and know the positives rather than just the negatives portrayed in stereotypes of addiction. People in the public eye like senators, sports figures and entertainment superstars identify themselves in this way in support of this cause. It got me thinking – in 12-Step rooms, people find connection when one Member of AA, one member of NA , one member of Al-Anon talks to another. The stories of strangers recall personal struggles and ring true. People identify, seeing themselves more clearly. Then one of my mentors said to me in a discussion of my business plans and mission statement, “Celeste you…
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What is Chronic Family Trauma?
Chronic Family Trauma (CFT) is a term of my own devising as codependency doesn’t say all that I believe needs to be expressed about living in the equivalent of a war zone within the structure that is meant to support and nurture our growth as children and adults – The Family. This can come from living with people suffering from use disorders, as well as living with those who struggle with mental illness, or, frankly, people who have been traumatized as children themselves. It is intended to be a description, not an indictment. Almost is Never Enough “It’s hard to get enough of something that almost works.” I heard that line a while ago and I haven’t been able out get it out of my head. I know most people with substance use issues will respond to that with a visceral understanding and a “YES” from their souls. But I wonder whether the unseen and unheard majority, those affected by the use disorders of others and C-PTSD understand that this same principle is in play for us as well. Our adult relationships almost work. We replay the childhood dynamic, marrying people who we want to give us the love and…
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Telling the truth about Chronic Family Trauma (CFT) aka C-PTSD
I am a woman in long-term recovery from Chronic Family Trauma (CFT). Last year I started following the work of a group called Facing Addiction. Their mission is to change the public perception of addiction and to decriminalize it. How they do this is multi-fold, but part of their message is what some of us already understand – addicts aren’t bad people, they’re sick people. The spokesmen and women for Facing Addiction identify as “Addicts in long term recovery” in the press, and give their names. The point being that the public can now look at the lives of these people and know the positives rather than just the negatives portrayed in stereotypes of addiction. People in the public eye like senators, sports figures and entertainment superstars identify themselves in this way in support of this cause. It got me thinking – in 12-Step rooms, people find connection when one Member of AA, one member of NA , one member of Al-Anon talks to another. The stories of strangers recall personal struggles and ring true. People identify, seeing themselves more clearly. Then one of my mentors said to me in a discussion of my business plans and mission statement, “Celeste you…
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Childhood Trauma
So, as you may know, Childhood Trauma Coaching is my latest brainchild. It’s interesting, as I’ve tried for years to “get it together” with a group for Substance Use Disorder (addiction) and Yoga. It just somehow didn’t feel like an authentic fit for me because, while I AM a yoga therapist who works with people with use disorders. I am not a person in recovery from use disorders. Needless to say, if I didn’t feel like I fit, I also wasn’t exactly successful with it either. I’m a family member, and I identify as a family member in recovery. But it just didn’t feel TO ME like I belonged there, telling people how to get better from something I don’t really have firsthand experience with. I’m incredibly grateful for the journey, because it’s brought me to my truth. It’s not that Everybody Did it To Me, it’s that who I was from childhood, and how I showed up, brought me into The Frequency of Trauma (Thank you Tommy Rosen, for your very insightful talks about The Frequency of Addiction), along with many others who share the same issue as I do, regardless of how we manifest it – Trauma. I…
